Miguel Montero shows us how to pick the best bat — with his mouth

Miguel Montero has an, umm, interesting method of finding the right bat to use, as he showed us Monday when the Arizona Diamondbacks played the New York Mets. He sticks it right up in his face and lets his nose, tongue and mouth decide.
This is how we imagine a convo between Montero and helpful teammate Cody Ross went down:

Montero: "You see, Cody, a lot of guys pick their bats based on on the length or the weight. How the bat feels in their hands."
Ross: "Uh-huh."

Montero: "I like to be a little more intimate with my bat. I like my other senses to be one with the bat. I like to know what my bat smells like. I like to taste my bat."

Weird? Sure. Sanitary? Not in the slightest. But in defense of Montero — a guy who is hitting .222 right now — having a close relationship with his bat is what helped Pedro Cerrano turn things around.

Someone please tell us if Montero next decides to sacrifice a chicken.